Child In The Dark ([info]angelsboi) wrote,
@ 2004-05-10 00:56:00
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Current mood: calm
Current music:Cheaters In The Background

Is It ...
Wrong that im as broke as a poor church mouse and i still wanna get on my knee and ask Kevin to be my husband?


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[info]nomadmatan
2004-05-09 09:58 pm UTC (link)
no.

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[info]drawn2the_stars
2004-05-09 10:19 pm UTC (link)
No. It's perfect and romantic.

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[info]evilroadie
2004-05-09 10:21 pm UTC (link)
nope, thats how you know its something good, since money isnt an issue.

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[info]dirtynumbangel
2004-05-09 10:40 pm UTC (link)
I don't know you terribly well, so please feel free to disregard what I'm about to say.

I don't think it's a good idea. Not because of the money; that's pretty immaterial. I think it's a bad idea for two reasons:

1) You haven't been together for very long. Marriage shouldn't be considered, in my opinion, until you're past the luv-haze phase of the relationship. And even then, it would be a good idea to live together for at least a year first. Wanting to make an extravagant committment is a beautiful and romantic thing--it's just not usually all that practical. And as much as marriage should be about passion and fireworks, it's equally important to look at practical matters too. The ideal marriage has a blend of passion and mundane details.

2) You're just not stable enough. You have some major health issues that you're just getting under control (don't get the wrong idea--has nothing to do with your HIV status. I would advise anyone with a major health issue the same way). You need to get that stuff stabilized before you can do anything else--it should be your priority. Your living situation isn't terribly stable either. I know how tempting it is to look at marriage, or even just a LTR, as a source of stability, but it doesn't work that way, unfortunately.

Like I said, please feel free to disregard. I'd just hate to see someone who seems to be a nice boy screw up his life the way I've seen a lot of people do.

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[info]sabaoth
2004-05-09 11:04 pm UTC (link)
I second Dirty on this one... for pretty much the same reasons.

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[info]rigel7
2004-05-10 12:50 am UTC (link)
Ryan, baby. Listen to an old man. You are very young yet, give it some more time for you and Kevin to grow together. I knew Dar for Ten whole years before we decided to make it a permanent thing. We just had our fourth anniversary together. Thing is, you have to grow into a life-bonding. It is not something that happens overnight. Let it blossom in it's own way and time.

Hugs from Texas.

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[info]spintrian
2004-05-10 04:09 am UTC (link)
No, go for it. Besides if you're really being thrifty, why not double your money and do something else while you're down there? ;)

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[info]spiritquest
2004-05-10 06:40 am UTC (link)
Given what I know of you two (which isn't that much), I think you should wait for him to ask you. Pressure from you is probably bad. Accept the good things that you have together and be content until he makes a move.

I've read what the other guys are saying about you not having known each other long enough. There's merit to what they are saying, and I agree in outcome (no, not a good idea, for reasons above).... but even if it doesn't work, sometimes you must take the leap for yourself... and you've been together about a year now, more than that?

Just wait for him to ask you. Put it out of your mind, and enjoy what is real in each moment.

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[info]angelsboi
2004-05-10 01:37 pm UTC (link)
We've been together 8 months at the end of this month. We practically live together and do things for each other.

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[info]spiritquest
2004-05-10 02:15 pm UTC (link)
[info]ricky66 and I started living together after just three months... but it wasn't until three years later that I really made a long-term commitment to him other than friendship.

Marriage means different things to different people. Its hard to say for sure whether you proposing to Kevin is reasonable. It seems like he is the one with more power to control the situation between you two and his own life as well... so it seems like he should be the one proposing to you... that's how I see it.

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[info]angelsboi
2004-05-11 04:47 pm UTC (link)
See, we're not even living together and we're more than friends. We've already commited to a long term, monogamous relationship - no one else involved. We hang out with our friends, we do dinner, we watch tv

We're the straight gay couple. We dont go do gay things (though we do like Pride and his mom and brother work at the local gay country bar).

we're just homebodies I guess

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[info]thordin
2006-10-17 09:12 am UTC (link)
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